Slingstones and Shattered Glass

I loved playing with slings as a child. I read fantasy novels where characters used slings to fight battles, and I of course grew up with the tale of David and Goliath, so I was fascinated by the idea of how a stone could be propelled with destructive force using a simple pouch with two strings. I crafted several slings and would practice with them in the woods next to my house.

My dad explicitly instructed me to only play with my sling and stones in the woods, but I was too excited to be that careful. One day while I was doing “target practice” against a tree on the edge of the woods, I let my shot fly at the wrong moment, in the wrong direction. In an instant, the rear window of the family van burst into hundreds of tiny pieces. It was so sudden and gut-wrenching, I froze for a few seconds and just stared at the mess on the driveway.

There was no hiding from what I’d done. If I pretended it hadn’t happened, it would only be a matter of hours or even minutes before one of my parents discovered the damage, and the consequences would be much worse because I hadn’t fessed up. I ran into the house in tears and told my dad what I had done. The moment was a blur, and I don’t recall his exact reaction. But he did tell me 1) to clean it up and that 2) I would have to pay for it myself (likely over time because I was a kid with limited pocket money) if insurance didn’t.

I found the shop-vac and took it outside to vacuum up the pieces of tinted window glass. There were so many strewn across the asphalt. I couldn’t stop thinking about the mistake I’d made and how much it could potentially cost me. Every fragment I cleaned up was a piece of dark shame. I had accepted Jesus as my Savior by this point in my life, so the spiritual implications of disobedience also weighed on me, though I didn’t completely understand them yet.

My dad covered the empty window with a tarp and some tape, and we eventually drove the van to church like that. I hoped nobody would ask me how the glass broke. Fortunately, God had mercy on me, and I never heard a single question about it. Then it turned out that insurance would completely cover the cost of replacing the window. I was off the hook financially. My relief was palpable. I don’t remember if I was punished in any other way, but it’s possible my parents saw how bad I felt about the whole situation and decided that was consequence enough. I certainly wasn’t going to play with my sling and stones anywhere near the family vehicles again.

This is one of my most significant childhood memories of being faced with accountability and consequences, and I’m glad it’s filled with grace and forgiveness. The results would have been worse had I tried to hide my mistake from my parents and lie about the damage that I was obviously at fault for. Frankly, I probably should’ve been made to pay for that broken window, but the price was paid for me.

When I first entered recovery ministry as a young adult, accountability and consequences were some of the first concepts I heard discussed. If I was to overcome the issues I struggled with, I had to have someone (or multiple people) with whom I could be completely honest. Personal struggles that are kept secret easily fester and turn your heart into a graveyard. I now have people I’m accountable to and who are accountable to me, and most, if not all, of the spiritual leaders in my life also have accountability relationships. I’d be scared for them if they didn’t. After all, James 5:16 instructs us to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Nothing good comes of living without accountability. Harmful secrets and misdeeds that are forced into the light are far more damaging than ones that are willingly confessed, though both have consequences. Unfortunately, in our world it’s all too easy to get away with wicked behavior, flaws of personality, and splintered integrity without meaningful consequences if a person has money, skilled lawyers, powerful friends, and/or wrongly placed blame. In places where accountability is denied, darkness grows and Satan chuckles.

The world needs people of integrity who can’t be bought and who have nothing to hide, because any mistake they’ve made has been through a cleansing bath of repentance and the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ. And that only happens when we accept accountability in our lives, become willing to clean up our shattered glass, and are willing to face any and all consequences for our sin.