Where Is Prayer? Part One: Broken Prayer
“Everybody prays.”
“There are no atheists when the airplane is crashing or the ship is sinking.”
“Prayer works!”
These are a few sayings about prayer that I’ve heard or seen over the course of my life. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to say such things and neglect the actual practice. True and passionate prayer that is not self-seeking or performative has become rarer in the Western Church than it should be.
I have prayed for people to be healed, and in time they were (praise the Lord!). I have prayed for people to be reconciled to each other, and they were (glory to God!). I can testify to how I have seen prayer change people’s lives, including my own. The Holy Spirit moves when the people lift their voices to their Heavenly Father (and often, fortunately, even when they do not, because God’s grace is a beautiful thing).
Yet, somehow, prayer as a spiritual activity or daily discipline still seems to be elusive, nebulous, and misunderstood by many.
I say this because many Christians you could meet except for a pastor (and even some of those, honestly) would likely tell you that they have a hard time praying or that they don’t pray as much as they should or would like to.
But what does this even mean? How does prayer become an activity that people just don’t think about doing? How do people come to think of it as a dull, mundane duty or colorless, irritating chore? How do our prayer lives become so broken?
I’ll tell you exactly why.
Prayer is one of the most meaningful and impactful spiritual disciplines we can practice, and our enemy the Devil doesn’t want us doing it because it increases our intimacy with God and makes us more resistant to sin. So the Devil distracts us and gives us plenty of reasons—excuses—not to pray. We swallow them and regurgitate them onto others. Then he weaponizes our shame and perfectionism against us even though Jesus has already ransomed us from our guilt and proclaimed us victorious.
All God wants us to do is come home like a wayward child, just the way we are, and offer up our prayers, just the way they are. He doesn’t care how simple or confused our prayers are; the more honest and specific, even if tangled up like a bunch of power cords, the better. What Satan wants is for our prayers to stay stuck in our throats out of a feeling of filthy unworthiness.
Furthermore, because of our inward tendency to reject the will of God in favor of our own, many people just don’t want to pray—though few Christians would readily admit that.
Why don’t we want to pray? In my case, fear. Fear of what God may ask or require of me. Fear of “wasting my time” (aka doubt). Fear of slowing down and paying attention long enough to feel uncomfortable in silence so I can actually hear His gentle whisper. Fear of not getting the answer I want (that’s a big one). Even fear of continuing to fail in my prayer life. A vicious cycle.
In the end, as is often the case, a lack of prayer proceeds from weakness of will, powerful pride, and ignorant idolatry.
Resistance to the devil’s schemes only comes through the work of the Holy Spirit, not our grunts of exertion against a proverbial boulder. God doesn’t get tired of fighting spiritual battles. We do. We naturally want to have our own way, use our time for ourselves, and not bother with saying “special” or sophisticated words (which don’t have to be either of those things) to an invisible God who we claim to believe is powerful enough to do impossible things.
We think prayer relies on our strength, when it is instead powered by the Holy Spirit, if indeed we’ll let Him flick the switch and fill the gaps (Romans 8:26-27). We get discouraged and bitter when our answers—or the answers we want—don’t come quickly enough.
Does God want us to pray a certain way? Sure, or He wouldn’t have given us the Psalms or the Lord’s Prayer. But the purpose of the prayers of the Bible is to teach us to pray. We can use them in the absence of our own words or to form meaningful liturgies. We can also learn from them that the “certain way” God wants us to pray is with complete sincerity, faithful conviction, reverence, selflessness, and a longing for loving communion. He’ll teach us if we ask Him and actually let Him in, just as Jesus willingly taught His disciples.
Our broken prayers can be mended. But only if we willingly let God and His love into our attempts.