Unmet Longings: More Than Meets the Eye

Have you ever wanted something so badly, it practically hurt, or you couldn’t stop thinking about it for a long time?

Transformers toys were some of my favorites as a child. They were some of the first toys that I saved up my pocket money to buy for myself. I never watched the cartoon, and the first live action movie didn’t come out until after I was mostly done playing with them. I just remember seeing another child playing with one and deciding that I too wanted to play with Transformers toys. The fact that they could readily morph from one form to another was so eye-catching and appealing to me; they were an action toy that could do something besides just move at the joints. They also came with colorful mini-comics.

I bought my first set of Transformers toys at Walmart. They were called Mini-Cons, from the Transformers Armada brand. Some of them could even be combined to form another toy, though you obviously had to buy multiple sets to gain that ability (yay toy marketing). I continued saving and buying and ended up with several sets.

The Transformer I wanted the most was called Unicron. It was a large toy that took the form of a planet-like object, but would transform into a big robot. If you had the right smaller Transformers, you could even attach them to it to make it do cool things. Now, Unicron was a villain of the Transformers lore, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to play with the awesome-looking toy that, in my mind, would complete or mostly complete my set.

One problem: it was expensive. So I did what any child who wants an expensive toy does: I asked for it for Christmas.

I asked for it year after year, but my parents didn’t buy it for me. Sure, they bought me loads of other great toys, but not this one. After a few years of asking, I started putting it on my Christmas wish list as a formality. I didn’t expect to get it, but I thought, why not? There’s always a chance.

I never got it.

Eventually, I grew older and got tired of playing with my Transformers toys. I moved on to other activities, and I put them away. I’m pretty sure I still have them in a box somewhere, as I have fond memories of playing with them, and it was easier to store and forget about them than it was to give them away or yard-sale them.

When my desire for Transformers toys ceased, so did my desire for the Unicron toy. The crazy thing is, I’m now a whole grown-up, full-time-employed adult who could easily go to eBay and buy the exact Unicron toy that I used to want, and not have to think much about the cost. I’m sure I’ve spent more money on single books than I would on that toy.

However, I don’t really care about it anymore. I’ve grown out of playing with children’s toys (except Legos). If I spent the money, I would get the toy, play with it once, and then put it on a shelf to collect dust. I have plenty of other knick-knacks, many of which I need to get rid of. I really don’t need to buy another just because of nostalgia or to satisfy a longing in my heart that was never met.

I wonder if this is one way that God works sometimes. I ask him for something that I want, and He doesn’t give it to me. There’s often no reason why. There’s no guarantee He’ll ever say yes. I’ll never know unless He answers the prayer one day. But maybe, just maybe, God knows better than I do. He knows that some of the things I ask for will likely be played with once and end up in a box in my basement. Or that I’ll get the thing, appreciate it for a short time, and then quickly move on to wanting something else. Or, even more difficult to consider, He knows I’m not ready for it yet. I’ve made plenty of expensive mistakes in my life, and you’d think I’d learn my lesson that not everything that seems good is worth having, or at least not yet.

Does God love to bless me with the desires of my heart? Yes, I believe so (Psalm 37:4). But He also knows better than I the things that will bless me most. I desire things all the time that would not be a blessing, even if they’re available for the taking. Some of the things I desire are actually worthless or wicked—that’s the nature of temptation and sin.

I think there’s a holy purpose to unmet longings. In the absence of the thing, God has a chance to reach out and touch our hearts, reminding us that every want points to a deeper desire for true fulfillment, which is only found in Him. When Jesus returns to put the world right again and gather all His children to Himself, none of those longings will matter anymore because we’ll have the Real Deal in all the fullness of His glory, and our faith will finally be sight.

The Lord has met many of my desires. Some of them, it’s hard to believe He decided to answer, even when other people in my life remain without them. Other desires, He has let me stew in, while I do my best to be grateful for what He has already given me. It’s humbling to know that He is in control of it all, and that if He chooses never to answer certain prayers, I need to be okay with that.

He does, after all, know best, and there’s more to His will than meets the eye.