Cleaning House

“The things you own end up owning you.” —Joshua Fields Milburn, Everything That Remains

It was the summer of 2021, and the old house was a mess.

The dining room table was piled high with odds and ends. Boxes and bags filled with papers and random possessions were strewn across the scuffed wooden floors. A shelf in the corner was filled with a bunch of old books that were on their way to Goodwill.

Dad was working on cleaning out the house so he could sell it. Unfortunately, thirty years’ worth of stuff scattered throughout one well-lived-in home tends to pile up.

Everything I owned that I hadn’t yet moved to my apartment sat in a corner in various boxes. A myriad collection of memories sat with them, keyhole glimpses into the adventures and blessings of my life. Some of it was waiting to be sold or donated, while other items waited to be moved and organized. It was a lot to look at, and a lot to think about.

As I took it all in, one convicting thought floated through my head for the millionth time: “I have too much stuff.”

***

Stuff is comforting to me. But I’m not tidy, so it becomes both a blessing and a curse. Striking a balance, something I’ve tried to do for years, is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to do, and I’ve never been completely successful at doing so. If I’m not careful, stuff can distract me and cause me to lose sight of what’s important.

My brain works much the same way.

My entire life, a million thoughts, feelings, ideas, and dreams have swirled around in my head like a tornado that just knocked over an old bookstore (a “brainstorm”, if you will). The real-life result is a mess of disorganized clutter in my personal spaces that I find difficult to clean up. I easily attach memories and feelings to objects, and it’s much harder than it should be to get rid of things when I feel like if I do, I’ll either lose or betray that memory.

In many ways, the word “cluttered” describes my mind to a T.

Clutter gets in the way and causes me to lose or forget about things. I remember things that aren’t important and forget things that are. I neglect chores and physical exercise but spend an excessive amount of time looking at a digital screen. I neglect my time with God in favor of spending unnecessary time on the internet or looking at my laundry basket and wishing my clothes would fold themselves. As the Apostle Paul famously stated, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” (‭‭Romans‬ ‭7:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

It’s not all bad, though, which is something I have to continuously remind myself. When by the grace of God I find, remember, and act on the things that matter, I rejoice. I feel a little bit of who I want to be fluttering hopefully in the pit of my stomach, like when Tinker Bell’s light flickers back on as she comes back to life in Peter Pan.

And so I often ask myself: What can I keep that will actually add value to my life? Am I willing to fight for what I value? And which non-valuable things will just get in the way, collect dust, or tie me down?

I’m slowly learning how to clean house, mentally and physically. I’m teaching myself to get rid of things that are getting in the way of being able to focus and live a meaningful life.

Some things need to go into storage. Some things need to be purged. Other things need to be picked up off the floor, dusted off, and placed in a position of importance, where I will see them and remember who I am and Whose I am.

Cleaning house is hard. But the most difficult things are usually the ones most worth doing.