Almost Didn’t…

Well, that didn’t take long.

This is the first blog post of the year that I almost didn’t publish.

At the beginning of the year (a full 20 days ago as of publishing this), I committed to posting something to my blog once a week, by Monday night. I started each of my three posts so far this year a minimum of five days in advance to give myself plenty of time to form the thought and edit the content.

I’m writing this post on Saturday night because frankly, I both neglected my writing practice this week and debated for so long about what to write about that I wrote almost nothing. Plus I barely did any journaling to help the process along and I’ve been preoccupied with other things all week.

It’s a common theme in my life: overthinking or underthinking and therefore not getting anything started at all. That’s the main culprit behind why I haven’t posted regularly in the past. That, and the shame I allowed to ride piggyback because of my perfectionist tendencies and never wanting to produce something that looks sloppy and poorly done.

In the scenario of this past week, I actually had a lot of ideas, which may show up on this blog in the future, but none of them were developed enough to write about except for this simple one.

There will always be distractions. There will always be surprises. There will always be responsibilities that take precedence. Each of these things and more threaten to derail my attempts to output creative content. But I’m done letting excuses prevent me from enjoying the process.

I recently remembered why I loved creative writing as a child: it was fun and it made me feel alive. I want to have those experiences again. I want to enjoy the process, not be ruled by a deadline. Yes, deadlines are important for actually outputting work, but they can easily make the work a chore, and I don’t want my creative work to be something I dread doing.

So this week, what you get from me is a behind-the-scenes look at a process that almost didn’t happen, and only did because I enjoy being creative and decided to turn the distractions themselves into content. Because why not?

I sat down and typed out this blog post on my phone’s notes app because my laptop was not immediately accessible, and I had to get the thoughts out. I guess that’s sometimes how it’s going to go.

I don’t know if anyone will care about this post. But I’m posting it anyway, despite how awkward it feels, because in doing so, I feel like I’m fighting the spiritual and creative friction that has kept me stuck under my writer’s block for so long.

Here’s to continuing to move forward!